Current mood:	tired
Current music:	Reverend and the Makers - Armchair Detective

We slip through the streets while everyone sleeps, getting bigger & sleeker & wider & brighter
I don't really know what to write about. A lot has happened in the last few months though. When was the last entry? Early May. Feels like longer ago... Okay... so what's happened then... let me think...
April 13th: While everyone else went to prom, I boycotted and went to see We Are Scientists a third time. Their new album's excellent, by the way. Got home at 10.30pm, came online, left for Laura's post-prom party at 1am and came home at about 6am. Vowed never to drink again. I'm such a twat, it's unreal. 
About two weeks later, I manage to blag myself onto the Guestlist for the We Smoke Fags gig. The Marionettes were supporting, so spoke to Derek, which was cool. We had to leave early though to catch a bus. It was probably for the best though, we felt so old there despite being young'uns ourselves. With the exception of a few, everyone there seemed to be about 14 which was odd... Other than that, April wasn't too eventful. There were a few more parties, which was cool, but got a bit tedious after a while. On the plus side, they started to recognise me at the Parkway as a responsible figure, waheeey!

May, on the other hand was a milestone! Finally left school. I still don't know how I feel about the whole thing. I've only started enjoying school this year, well... since I dropped German, so it's sad, but then I did complain about it a lot, so in a way I'm glad. We had a Leavers Ceremony on the Friday which was emotional! Until John, Jonny, Stu, Jamie and Brucie took to the stage. They played Wasted Little DJs by the View (begrudgingly in John's case) then Don't Look Back Into The Sun by the Libertines and one dedicated to everyone who'd been "to any of the 96 18th parties" oh yes, Keep On Movin' by 5ive. Good fuckin' times!
The day after was the final 18th birthday party of our school career. It, again, was emotional! In a cheesy sort of way. Throughout the year, in the common room, at random times, there'll be an iPod on the speakers and Never Forget by Take That'll come on prompting all the boys to groan and all the girls to sing along. So at the party, the DJ said "this next one is for the sixth year girls..." and we all got up and shouted along. Sad fuckin' times!
The following Monday was our last big everyone-in-the-year-involved social event. BBQ. Again, the end product was me vowing never to drink again. Was nice though, everyone together one last time! Sad though, 'cos hardly anyone turned up to school the next day for our official last day and those who did were still drunk. We were lacking muck up day inspiration and just went for shutting people in various rooms with string and cling film and sellotape, claiming the toilets were out of order, etc. Then boys whose names I cannot disclose had a canteen siege with super-soakers and spiderman masks. Funn-ay.
I returned home, desperate for sleep, but went to the cinema with John which was cool. We bitched and laughed, all you need, innit? 
Uhh... then I didn't do anything for the rest of the day and regretted it by Wednesday 'cos I had an exam on Thursday. Most of Wednesday was spent frantically trying to learn things I don't understand about Beckett's Waiting For Godot and Endgame. It proved irrelevant though when I open my exam paper on Thursday to reveal pretty much the exact question I did for my prelim, but this time including Endgame and not just WFG. I just winged the Endgame bit though. Evidently everyone else did too. But at night I went to see Dirty Pretty Things which was cool.

Then nothingness for a bit. Until we headed out to visit my ol' Granny, then off to Mark's surprise birthday party. Mark is my auntie's partner. Then there was a revelation that they were getting married right then and there. And Mark didn't even know about it! It was really sweet though. 

Then the Futureheads for free, huzzah! Followed the next day by a Eurovision party at the sister's flat. Sebastien Tellier was robbed! We travelled down to Newcastle on the following Monday and went to 3volution where we saw This Aint Vegas, the Whip, Glasvegas, Lightspeed Champion, Duffy, Reverend and the Makers and CSS.

That Friday, I had an interview with Waterstone's, which I thought went terribly despite throwing in a Black Books reference. On Saturday, I found out I got the job, but it starts in July. Exciting!

Gaaah, what else happened? I'm not too sure. BUT I did get an email telling me I was on the guestlist for a one off invite only Snuff Box live dvd launch. I had about a week to plan a way of getting to London and I fucking well did it! My review that I wrote for my darling RBers.

SO. I left here, watched some dvds and caught my bus to LDN at 10.30pm. For about 20 mintues, we managed to avoid the attention of two Glaswegian drunks until they started speaking bullshit to us, rattling up coughs and sounding like they were going to die. We watched some Man To Man With Dean Learner with headphones in so they might leave us alone. A few hours passed and they argued with each other about whether they were on a bus or a train, then they passed out. Christ. They got off at Newcastle and we sighed with relief. By this time, it was about 2am andwe attempted to sleep. It was so uncomfortable so we didn'tmanage. We stopped at Wakefield at 3am and I texted Fuzz More hours of trying and failing to sleep passed.

At about 5am, it was light out and by 6.30am we were in London. We pulled into the station at 7am and walked around for ages. Went past Westminster Abbey and the Houses of Parliament an' that. Ended up crossing the river, crossing back, walking down Fleet Street (Sweeney, sadly was nowhere to be seen), going to Starbucks. We figured we'd get on the nearest tube and go see if we could figure out where our hotel was, but after walking a while, we saw the Tate Modern and remembered the hotel was near. It was only 10.30 and check in wasn't until 12. So we went in, looked around, then found our way to our hotel, sat around for a bit in our room, left bags and shit there and went to Camden, mainly just to pretend cry at the remains of the Hawley. I've no idea what else we did but at about 4pm we went for "lunch" and ate it in a park. We were gonna go make sure we knew where the Pigalle Club was, but figured it'd be easy enough, so just went back to the hotel from about 5-6. At 6.30, we caught the tube to Green Park which takes you onto Piccadilly. I was getting all nervous/excited by this point. Across the road from where we exited the tube, we saw that it said 73 Piccadilly on a building, so went left as the numbers the way we were going were rising and we needed to find 215-217. This is logic, no? So we were doing well, got to about 140 and we were at the end of the street. No more buildings.

Panicking, I texted Lynsey from the Snuff Box forum and asked her if I was being a massive twat or I'd been told the wrong address. By this point, it was about 7.20 and doors were supposed to have opened at 7pm. She didn't get back to me, so we phoned the sister's boyfriend to ask if he could find out directions online. Turns out, inexplicably, it was the complete opposite end of Piccadilly. So we did a mad dash and amazingly made it. Weirdest of all was that the queue to get in was MASSIVE. We were about to join the end of it, when a voice from the middle said "Kirsten?" I turned around to find a girl with a flower in her hair, "Hi, it's Lynsey! I'm sorry, I've just got your text like right this minute!" so we joined her and her friends, one of whom is Sarah from the Snuff Box forum, and they told us Holness had walked past them and they got all fangirly, but resisted squeeing at him. Soon the doors were opened and because we all had to go in separately to avoid chaos, we lost Sarah and Lynsey an' that. We got in, went downstairs (past a big cutout of the dvd cover, lovely!) and found that the best seats were taken or reserved. So we sat at a little table near the back. Lynsey came over and told us to come sit with them, so we ended up right by the side of the stage. The view wasn't brilliant as it was side on, but it ended up turning out good

We all spoke for ages and laughed at how surreal it was to see Nick Lucas, the guy who plays Matt's dad in Snuff Box wandering around. Then we saw a load of guys come out from backstage, one of whom was Peter Serafinowicz. I got excited. Not 'cos of his show, but World of Pub, Spaced, Black Books, Look Around You, etc.
When 8.30 came around, this warm up guy came on and told us that they'd be showing clips as well as doing stuff live and he introduced the "snuff box orchestra" which was the band Matt tours with, Jonas 3 and DAISY from SWEET (weird as hell) who would be doing backing vocals.
There was this big screen above the stage door (fortunately we were looking directly onto it) and there'd been a new corridor scene especially for that night filmed by Matt and Rich. [Regardez: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ksPSmWPzMVA] They spoke about it being father's day and Rich asked if it was normal to go to a sex club on father's day, Matt said no, but they were doing it anyway. In the clip, they opened a door, and as soon as they did that, the screen went blank and the men appeared onstage. Rich looked out and went "Wow! Are we gonna have sex with all these people?!"
"Yes."

Then Rich asked if he could do some stand up as he learned a new joke.
Matt: "Okay, go for it."
Rich: "Okay, check this out, this is like money in the fucking bank..."
Matt: "Get on with it."
Rich: "Okay... um... y'see... there's this pig, right? Uh... What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?"
Matt: "I don't know..."
Rich: "Shit, I'm bacon! *applause from audience* YES! I am on fucking fire!"
Matt: "Alright, idiot, I've got one, you'll like this one... Prince Phillip told me this one last week... It goes like this: What happens when you cross a skunk with a bear?"
Rich: "I dunno..."
Matt: "You get--"
Rich: "--Winnie the Pooh! Ahahaha! Yes! I knew that one! You you you you! You muthafucka, you mothafucka, you!"
Matt: "Now why would you do a stupid thing like that?"
Rich: "I'm so horny, I don't know what to do..."
Matt: "Rich, what's the worst thing I've ever threatened you with?"
Rich: "Setting fire to my squirrels? PLEASE DON'T!"
Matt: "Other than that..."
Rich: "Cutting my own dick off with a hacksaw?"
Matt: "Bingo. So if you interrupt this next joke, that's exactly what you'll be doing... Okay, you'll like this one, I made it up myself so you CAN'T even interrupt... A man walks into a fish and chipshop and says 'I'll have fish and chips twice.' to which, the fella behind the counter says--"
Rich: "'--I heard you the first time!' I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR ME!"
Matt: "Ken! *Ken comes out to some cheers*"
Ken: "Your hacksaw sir..."
Rich: "Oh, no Matt, please no!"
Matt: "You know what to do..."
Rich: "Please, I'll give you money!"
Matt: "Not interested..."
Rich: "I'll give ya a Snuff Box DVD..."
Matt: "They've already given me three..."
Rich: "I only have one... *high pitched, tearful* I'm too shy to do this in public!"

So he turned around and "cut his dick off." He gave it to Matt, who ate it. What the eff? Then they went off while some clips were played. (Later on they'd claim they were proud of us for laughing at the right moments )

They came back on while Rich mimed speaking and Matt did his voiceover. Hearing Matt bleedin' Berry saying "I touch my winky-wink..." is orgasmic For a "father's day treat" Rich was wearing his Papoose with the baby doll in it and claiming to be "a dad out in Islington" 'cos apparently only dads in Islington wear their babies like that Anyhoo, he sang Rapper With A Baby and came into the crowd a bit and added new words, "I'm rappin' with ma baby at the London bridge, I rap with my baby when I open the fridge." He then took the baby out and threw it at some guy sitting next to Nick Lucas and told him to look after it. Then Matt came out and said it was a good job he didn't throw it at [name I forget, that guy who was recently imprisoned for shaking his baby to death] to which people laughed and groaned at the same time and he just went, "Ha, topical!" in a sort of Douglas IT Crowd, "HAHAHAHA FLY!" voice

They showed more clips, including outtakes which involved lovely Ayoade giggling. Delightful! Then they had a staged Q&A. No-one was sure if it was part of the show or not, so no-one asked anything, until some guy yelled, "Where did you get your ties?!"
Matt: "None of your fucking business..."
Rich: "We got it at this shop called 'Go Fuck Yourself'"
Then Nick Lucas stands up and asks why he has been cut out of a lot of scenes in Snuff Box and why he hasn't been paid yet. He also made a filthy joke about his wife and sister "not coming at all" at one point too. Hilair from a man of his age.
Matt: "It's alright, I'll deal with this... Alright, you fossilised fuck. You weren't paid for two reasons. 1: You're a pain in the arse, 2: You're a pss poor actor! What say you sir?"
Nick: "I... say... THIS! *pulls out gun*"
They manage to get it off him and Rich points it at him until he returns to his seat, insistant on calling him a Coffin-Dodger. "Yeah, I'll say 'coffin-dodger' as much as I fucking like! Hey... have you ever seen a little boy say 'feck'? Well watch this clip..."

Then the guitar-lesson clip, followed by more I can't remember. They came out in their studio-gear, Rich singing their Everything Goes Dark song. Then Matt's friend Ollie Ford who plays Adam Ant comes out, "I just popped in to give Matt back his diary... Yeah, he left it at my place last night..."
Matt: "Now you give me that back you fucking Judas..."
Ollie: "I will... right after I've read this bit to Rich first... 'Monday, May 2nd 1974'--"
Rich: "Ha HA! That's a funny date..."
Ollie: "'I really wish I could fuck my dog'..."
Rich: "Ha, canine fucker!"
Ollie: "'It's all I can think about... Every time I get him on his own, my dad takes him on a walk'..."
Rich: "HA! His dad cock-blocked him!"
Ollie: "'It's driving me mad and I fear I may do something drastic if I don't get my way with this beautiful beast..."
*Ollie and Rich laugh hysterically.*
Ollie: "Wait, you read one..."
Rich: "'June 1st: I wish my dad's hammer would fit up my arsehole!'"

Then Matt sang the Diary Song to Ollie, said "Rich, stand away from the pirate..." and proceeded to beat the crap out of him with a cricket bat. Then more clips...

I can't remember when, but they came back out at some point and Ken asked what they would like to drink. Rich said something funny, but I can't remember what. Matt said, "I'll have two pints of lager... and a packet of crisps."
"Very well sir..." said Ken and pulled out a Two Pints dvd from his pocket and handed it to Matt. He slowly put it on the ground, stared at it, then stamped on it and smashed it the shit up, took it to the back of the stage and pretended to spunk all over it. I love that guy! Rich said "Matt! You promised to do nothing controversial!" Found out later that Matt was told he wasn't allowed to smash it, but did so anyway. What a hero. More clips.

Rich came out as the old posh man from the swear song and started effing. He said he wanted to do something a bit special, so would get us all to sing along in sections. He went up to the first section and got them to shout the "fuck"s, then lots of others to do the "shit"s, then he came right up to our table and said, "You guys are 'horse-piss' over here... What I want you to do is stand up like you have a huge horse-cock..." the first time, no-one stood up and only I yelled "HORSE-PISS!" then he allocated the "son-of-a-two-balled-bitch" sayers and the guys on the balcony were let loose on the "motherfucker!"s. When it was all done together, it was beautiful. Matt came out and they both sang the theme tune over it as we all swore. Amazing Matt introduced the band in his usual way "He's a drummer, he's a bassist, she's a singer and he's a guitarist, now fuck off." and Rich introduced the rest of the cast and shouted "Coffin-dodger!" at Nick after he left.
Some woman not wearing much came out with two copies of the dvd.
Matt: "Good god..."
Rich: "Oh my god..."
Matt: "Christ..."
Rich: "I love dvds..." *she hands him the dvds*
Matt: "Which is fortunate 'cos I love her... So, er... adios, thank you very
Rich stayed on, jumped up and down a bit, got excited and threw the dvds into the crowd.

And it was over... Sort of.

Two minutes later, they came out and started speaking to other people I sort of recognised from the forum at the other side of the room. I decided I'd go up and give Rich a hug. He obliged, but other people wanted him to sign stuff, so didn't talk to him then and there. I figured I'd catch him later and grabbed Matt who was standing behind him, he walked over and stood next to me and I told him I'd met him in Edinburgh. He claimed he remembered, but I highly doubt it! I also told him that I was the one threatening to cover Hot Dog and he grinned and said "No way! Do it, you should do it... I won't sue you or anything..."
I asked for another picture to make up for the one I look horrendous in from Edinburgh, he said of course... 


Swoon-age.

He got caught up in other people, so I left him be and approached Rich again. "Sorry, Rich, can I get a photo as well? Christ, I'm so demanding! First a hug, now this!"
Then he made my little heart skip a beat, "Hey, are you the girl who was travelling for hours to be here?"
I was shocked, "Yes!" and gave him another hug.
"Oh my god, that's dedication! You win!"
"Well, you know, it was worth it, I got to shout horse-piss REALLY loud!"
"Yeah, you were the only one doing it!"
We started to take the photo and he said something that made us both laugh, so we look retarded, but I secretly quite like it.. 



My sister's boyfriend saw this when we returned to Scottishland and said, "That's a good look, Mr Fossil."

So, I spoke to him for a while and my sister came over and he gave her a hug too "You guys were the only people to shout horse-piss!"
Gaaah, typical, as soon as I get round to putting this into words and I totally can't remember what else we said!
This girl came over, interrupted but politely and asked for a photo with him. I think she may be from the forum, but not sure yet. Rich obviously felt bad about us being interrupted, so involved me in the conversation. They were talking about Snuff Box and he pointed to me and said "She hates it..." to which I replied, "Yeah, it's shit..." and he laughed ('Once made Rich Fulcher laugh' is going on my CV.)
She asked if they could buy the dvd that night, but he was really apologetic and said the shops wouldn't let them 'cos they'd lose business or something, but he kept sincerely apologising 'cos he's a lovely man!
I brought up that I was coming to see the Boosh again and he said "...Iiin Edinburgh?"
"Yeah, the first night in Edinburgh and then--"
"That's our first show... September 11th... LOTS of jokes about that--NO!"
"Yeah, a cheery date for the first gig! Then we're going to one of the Brixton dates, one of the Glasgow ones for my friend's birthday and then the last date in Aberdeen. But there's not a lot to do in Aberdeen, so I suggest you come out with us!"
"Aberdeen's boring."
"It's pretty shit..."
"I've been there, yeah, it's the granite city or something?"
"Yeah, horrible. But yeah, my sister lives in Edinburgh, so I went down to there, so it was like a journey on top of a journey."
"Oh wow! Well, I'm sure I'll see you on the tour."
"I'll come hunt you down!"
"Yeah!"
"But... yeah, let's party."
"Party in Aberdeen. I'm gonna put it in my diary; Party in Aberdeen!"
More people came over and said "SNUFF BOX IS AMAZING!" and again he pointed at me and said "she doesn't like it..."

At THIS point, I glanced to my right and saw Peter Serafinowicz.
"Pete!"
"Hi there."
"You're a hero of mine!"
"Eh?"
"You're a hero of mine!"
"Oh my god! That's not true!"
Then I told him he was in all the best shows and his voice went all high and he sounded genuinely touched and looked like he was about to cry tears of joy ('Almost made Peter Serafinowicz cry' is going on my CV)
Then we spoke about Snuff Box and his work with Matt and he apologised for ruining my chances to talk to Rich as he was now conversing with others. He seems like an actual lovely guy! He shook my hand and said he was off for a drink.

Ended up speaking to Rich again about absolute balls and he decided to tell everyone that approached him that I'd come down from Edinburgh and I said, "Yeah, and somehow you remembered!"
"How could I not? You're the only person to do that!"
"Yeah, only the freaks and the weirdos do that."
"Aww, you're not a freak or a weirdo."
"That's debatable."
"Aww!"
"Right, I'd best be off, but I'll go say bye to him as well *gesture in direction of Matt*"
"Give me another hug! Thank you!"
"You too, excellent to meet you."
"Yeah, nice to meet YOU! I'll see you on the tour, though." and he squeezed my hand. Swoon-age.

I walked over to Matt and didn't wanna interrupt his conversation he was having, so waited for a gap, told him I was going and he thanked me for coming and agreed to a hug.
I was all set to go when Lynsey and Sarah said we should get a forum photo. So we did... 



then someone shouted to get Matt and Rich in it. So we did.



Afterwards, Matt went "Waheeey" monotonously and Rich started chanting "Snuff-Box-For'm! Snuff-Box-For'm!" I totally wish I'd recorded that now...

And that was that, we caught the tube to the hotel and I was fuckin' buzzing!

Have now sent sycophantic messages to both Matt and Rich. I feel at ease with the world! (But I can't bloody wait for that Boosh tour... c'mere while I molest ye, Mr Fulcher...)

And that's me up to speed. Ace.

Now I'm shattered. Alas, a night in my own bed, woo!